Dating Dimes* on a Dime in DC

*slang noun in relation to physical beauty in place of a "perfect ten"

18. Too Much of a Good Thang?

By Howard Westmoreland

Hell doesn’t have to be hot.

If you do all of your sinning on the Equator, for instance, what’s the big deal about heat? Without getting too mired in the theology, here, the point of Hell is to create a painful forever for you, personally. Your Hell must be an ironic reminder of the weaknesses that dropped you down that bottomless pit in the first place. For you who are weak without remorse, the devil is down below customizing your condo (in colors that you hate). But if you were offered a tour of your suite, in Hell, would you take it?

I was informed, about six months ago, that the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated would be convening on Washington, DC for their 100 year celebration.
Alpha Kappa Alpha is an African American sorority traditionally associated with lovely women. (Not just foxes – ambitious foxes – my favorite). Their colors are pink and green. My mother pledged at Morgan State University, and she remains a brilliant and beautiful lady (Aww, my mommy is awesome). But she would not be in town, and neither would the lovely young woman that I have been seeing. It turned out that I would be on my own in Washington DC as 25,000 sorority sisters sojourned to the Washington Convention Center (which is three blocks away from my building).

And it came to pass that a multitude of golden, copper and bronze Isis', Nefertitis and Shebas descended upon the Potomac like queens and goddesses of the Nile.

Now, I don’t know if you have ever been to Disney World (on the West Coast you guys have Disneyland -- which ain’t bad, but it ain’t Orlando, either). In Disney World it is routine to see little guys extended at the end of their mommy or daddy’s arm. Grasping only the parent’s index finger to drag them through the miraculous odyssey of Disney World. Their eyes bulge at the sights and magic all around them. Their jaws drop in awe. Their little hearts overcome with joy. Well, that little guy was me on Friday night.

The ladies were just arriving, as I popped out of my cab onto U Street. Somehow, you could identify the celebrants as out-of-towners. There was one young woman, so lovely that I followed her half a block out of my way. She was dressed in black satin. And she reminded me of the Solar System. Her walk was a perfect coordination of rotating spheres and ellipses in black pumps. I smirked as I made my way to the birthday party I was attending. There was one couple bypassing me. The guy looked morose. This was a once in a lifetime event. And he was on a date – with his lady. I looked at my shoes as he passed.

So I attended a birthday party that was fun in a traditional and wholesome way. Seriously. And the AKAs who were there, where lovely and elegant.

I have to point one thing out. My vodka on the rocks and I had found a place to stand along the wall, near the bar. This young lady reached behind me to move a candle from a table, so that I would have a place to sit. Now, that may not seem like a big deal, but I was so touched. I wanted to kiss her on the cheek. I never see that type of politeness anymore. Friday night was wonderful. Saturday night was different. Into Hell, I descended.

Follow me down, next week…

Art from… http://superdonut.deviantart.com/art/Gluttony-48852629