16. Leading Economic Indicators
By Westmoreland
Frankly, I am a little price-sensitive, today. My American Express activity has come home to roost. It turns out that Treva���s big Miami birthday bash will also be my birthday gift to myself, as well as this year���s Christmas present to everybody else. Happy Kwanzaa! Between the trip, and chating (being chaste & dating), I won���t be positioned to house hunt until November, at least.
���Chates��� (chaste + date) costs the same as ���dates��� without any of the upside advantages that I have come to associate with standard dating. I don���t have a qualm with intimate, pre-intimacy dining at a nice restaurant. And I have never quibbled over price. And as a gentleman, I feel obliged to ensure that the experience of a lifetime be visited upon a woman with a full stomach. For some physical experiences you are advised against eating, like immediately prior to launching a rocket to the Moon. But in raw physical terms, the gravitation on the third floor of my building is standard, so I take full responsibility for my guests��� response to the ensuing centrifugal forces, or high velocity Gs.
But eating out, prior to fooling around, is expensive. With my chating fund competing with my housing fund, it has become crucial.
Not one to complain without making recommendations, I have decided to spearhead a pricing policy for those who are paying for something, but not getting any. If you are not going all the way, why pay for all of the bill? Quite simply, I am leveraging the use of baseball signals to indicate discounting, based on the bases that I will be running after dinner.
Clever and easy! When the waiter comes over indicate to him, before he calculates the bill, with one of the following:
I am going to First base. After dinner, she gives me 1 kiss
on the mouth: Please discount 30%.
I am going to Third base. 10% off. I am getting warmer.
She doesn���t even have to know. Ladies, however, if your date makes this signal before dinner,
no discounts required.
2 comments:
You are sooo very crazy but unfortunately, a lot of men think as you do. It amazes me how our breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner date is attached ti intimacy, wow. Let's just say, I'll be dining with my girls and probably have a better experience anyway. Believe it or not we take turns paying the tab which is never an issue for me.
A wise person, undoubtedly female, said:
Pimpin' ain't easy, but hoeing ain't either.
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