Spiritual Journey - a message to daughters

07. A Message to My Daughter

So my only child just graduated. Like most parents, I am proud. I think back on her as a baby, a toddler, a young girl, a teen and cannot believe she stands before me a young lady, graduated and now getting ready to go off to college.

On graduation day, my daughter asked me if I had any words of wisdom for her. I, usually ready to jump on my soapbox and preach, was at a loss. What did I want to say? But pride and memories prevented me from saying more than what rang from my heart. I love you and am so proud of you.

Since then, I have thought a lot about what I want to tell my daughter. I want to tell her things that will matter to her, things that will make a difference to her, and things that will sustain her when I cannot be there. This is what I have to tell her.

Be true to yourself - never let others decide the road you must travel. You must live with your choices. You alone live with your failures and successes. At the end of the day, there is nothing worse than regretting the life you lived based on someone else's choices. If you choose your road, you get to learn from any poor choices but you also get to revel in your successes.

Be your own best friend - no one else knows your heart, your desires, your inner secrets as well as you do. Embrace yourself, spend time with yourself, and do for yourself. How can others truly like you if you do not like yourself? How can you give love to others if you do not love yourself? How can you have healthy relationships with others if you do not respect yourself? Put yourself first, in a healthy, positive manner, and you will do well.

Let no man or woman into your life who brings you down - life is hard enough without choosing to spend time with those who make it harder. Also, spending time with people like that just prolongs your own suffering. Friends and lovers are supposed to elevate each other. It is true that there will be hard times. I am not saying that life is easy. But, people who are always down, always miserable, trying to bring you down, not trying to improve their lot, are a drain on your spirit. Try to help them if you can. However, if they choose to remain "wallowers" in the mire of misery, wish them well but be on your way. Instead, seek those who are like you, at least aspiring to happiness.

Fight hard to do the things that are important to you, the things that make you happy - there are only so many hours in a day and days in your life. Spend those hours and days in ways that make you happy, in ways that are meaningful to you. If you do so, your days will be enriched and your memories and moments will be extended by the length, breadth and depth of your dedication.

Stand up for the things you believe in - it will give meaning to your life.

Be aware of those in need and try to bring some sunshine into their days - there will always be those better off than you and worse off than you. Those better off give you something to strive for. Those worse off remind you of where you could be, but for the grace of God. Keeping this in mind will give you a better perspective of your capabilities, possibilities and limitations. And giving back to others less fortunate will remind you what blessings you have yourself. If nothing else, helping others will lighten your load, and brighten your heart, even on the gloomiest of days.

Say thank you - this extra effort adds grace to the giver as well as the receiver. It is an uplifting affirmation that increases positive energy, confidence and well-being.

Say I'm sorry - this helps you as well as the other party to heal. It allows you to reconnect with the person who is hurting. It cleanses both of you and the air. It encourages love, compassion, understanding and personal growth as a human being.

Let go of painful things - clinging to pain prevents you from growing in hope and love. In reality, that is all there is. Why hold on to the very things that stunt your spiritual and personal growth. Besides, everything has its time. Let things go when their time is up. It allows you to make room for new things. Cry and be fully present to the pain in that moment. Tears cleanse the soul and heal the heart. Then, put the pain in a balloon and release it. In setting it free you set yourself free. free to love and hope. Then, look your best, spend time with friends, be attuned to your owns needs and be gentle with your self. You will be OK.

Find time to meditate - it can help you discover peace within yourself. It can help you find happiness in just being alive. If there is no time in your life to meditate at length: take a walk and enjoy nature, take a bath and deeply relax, or just close your eyes and breathe deeply and slowly. Meditation is an unsung hero in the world of self-rejuvenation. Trust me, it will help you in ways you can't even imagine.

Be kind to others - kindness is as much a state of mind as it is an act itself. When practiced, this simple act creates positive karma in your life and helps you find inner strength and peace. Further, when you are kind to others, you learn to be kind to yourself.

Live a good life - refrain from hurting others and yourself. Be a blessing to others and yourself. Don't take anything for granted. Appreciate the worth of everything that you encounter in your life. When you make a mistake; acknowledge it, regret it, understand what caused it, accept that there may be consequences, learn from it, and resolve not to make that same mistake again. Then let it go and be free to move on.

Be patient - keep calm when faced with things outside of your control. When you are patient, you are in a state of allowing. When you are allowing, you open yourself to the good things and blessings that are available and ready for you, even in moments when all you can imagine is pulling your hair out and screaming.

Be mindful - happiness is right now, right here, moment-by-moment, day-by-day. You create it as you go along and therefore it is your choice. When you are mindful, you live the life you are meant to live, you are being true to your inner self and you nourish your soul. When you are mindful, you notice the beauty around you, appreciate moments, and create an opportunity to learn, grow, improve and love.

Make friends and spend time with them - a friend is someone you keep because of who they are and who you are when you are with them. A friend is someone who lifts you up when you are down, who knows all your faults but loves you anyway, is someone you would do anything for, no holes barred and who would do the same for you. The number of friends does not determine happiness in life. It is the quality of the friendships you make and keep. Friendship is the fun you share, the secrets you tell each other and the memories you create together. So make good, true friends and spend time with them. It is the time you spend with them that will nurture your friendships and help them to grow and last.

Spend time with family - they can be your backbone, your strength, your comfort and your support if you let them.

Finally, know I love you.

I always have and always will. I will be here for you in good times and bad. I will share your happiness and hold you when you are in pain. I will be your rock when you need and the voice of reason and honesty when you need that as well. I will never lie to you or let you down. I can be your friend and your confidant, if you need, but I will always be your mother and I will always love you. You can find solace in my arms and a bed in my house. You may be too big to sit on my lap but it is still available, if you need. Yes, I love you my child, my heart, my beautiful daughter. And yet I give you wings to fly and soar and do and be all you can be and do.

GOOD LUCK AND MANY, MANY BLESSINGS!!!!!!!!!!!