*slang noun in relation to physical beauty in place of a "perfect ten"By Westmoreland
01. Sifting and Shifting
I am recently disjoined from a dating situation that I thought was destined for the altar. Two Saturday mornings ago I finally packed an electronic piano, keyboard stand, sheet music, books, recently laundered underwear, a suit and several pairs of shoes into the back seat of a Budget rental (I don’t own a car) and relocated my life from my ex-girlfriend’s place -- back to my own apartment in downtown DC. Amy Winehouse’s longing, disappointment and self-medication have been the cathartic themes to the opening of this year.
But, I did the math. If there exists one woman (out of billions) with whom I will make a life, I at least know that it is not this woman. I can safely exclude her from the statistical sample space of potential life mates and keep it moving. She was beautiful, and I really thought it was working. Sigh...
So in keeping it moving, armed only with a well-worn American Express and several gold-wrapped Trojans (for guys with special needs), I am actively consuming premium vodka and premium bachelorettes. I guess I hate it, but it beats coming home to an empty apartment and shouldering the sobering burden of loss and loneliness.
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