Dating Dimes* on a Dime in DC

*slang noun in relation to physical beauty in place of a "perfect ten"

21. Tigers and Lions Continued: Cat’s out of the Bag

By Howard Westmoreland

Txxx squinted as my attorney said her goodbyes, and made her way past us. She had an obligation, to a friend, that required she be awake at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning. You know, if my friendships rested on such compliances, I’d just face this cold, stark world alone.

“Man, I have some stories to tell you…” Now, I already knew what kind of cat would jump out of the bag Txxx was holding. For effect, he jostled the bag a bit. I could hear the tabby shriek and claw at the burlap. “Miami is crazy.” His smile dimmed. “I am having 3somes…”

Want to roll with the Dimes? Click to continue reading…

Yeah.

You know, you don’t have to be an educated, groomed and articulate Black Man -– from a good college -- to have exotic – er – dating experiences in Miami. Or in any city, really. I mean, CNN did this whole thing on being Black in America which was, like, an infomercial for any Black man in this country who has a) Jobs, b) Baby_Mommas, and/or c) HIV_Infected_Cells. The standard for success was not, um, like, super-duper high.

So given the math, a Black man with a job, his health and no children get the lion’s share of the single (and perhaps not-so-single) women in any major city, for as long as he wants – or until he develops a reputation for overindulging. And depending on his financial circumstances, those 3 criteria become pretty flexible. Don’t believe me? A certain retired basket ballplayer can illustrate the flexibility of the health criteria.

And with these statistics played out so dramatically, you don’t have to be, like, deep into Trigonometry to play some women like marbles. And if you are pursuing romantic liaisons with certain women, it doesn’t take a lot of engineering to find yourself in a love-triangle (or a 3way).

This guy, like me, is a Tiger. He didn’t have to tell me about the 3 Card Molly in Miami. And it really resonated for me why he found it so hilarious that I was ready to settle down.

He reminded me that I went to Morehouse, and that my first obligation was to get my money. “I’m okay on money” I told him. I remind you, I had been drinking. He scolded me, immediately. “You are not alright on money until your name is Buffett!”

Five years ago he would have been correct. I affect this whole, Bohemian creative lifestyle, but under the wrinkled white t-shirt, beats the steady rhythm of a Machiavellian ambition.

But, five years ago I sort of decided that being a husband and a father was where I was really driven. And that does not make me less a great predator. It just makes me a different one. Lions are no less powerful or ferocious than tigers. But they are very different in one respect: A lion raises his family. He finds a nice, quiet patch of African savannah, and he presents it to his lioness(es). She is the one who goes about the business of preparing meals and nursing cubs. The lion is not the King of the jungle because he roars and has big teeth. It is because he is the head of a household, which is called a Pride. And all he does all day is sleep, play with his cubs, mount his lionesses and protect his Pride.

Far be it from me to knock another tiger’s hunt, but I have been through this jungle before, and I am ready to change my stripes.