Dating Dimes* on a Dime in DC

*slang noun in relation to physical beauty in place of a "perfect ten"

By Westmoreland

02. Shaquille O'Neill

What about rebounding, though, right? Is there a risk that I will prematurely transition into selection (see previous entry) without having purged the recently failed relationship and the bad blood cursing through my muscular frame? Well, yeah. But, again, the empty apartment is empty, unless you count the books and the bathtub. I need a puppy, but in the meantime, I have got to mingle.

So, this is where we will track the dating phases.

Actually. I guess I have met someone who is beautiful and impressive. She has the characteristics that typically entrap me. Super Southern, deep brown skin, seriously self-assured, statuesque (uh, try to picture what Wonder Woman would look like if she were from the Mississippi Delta), nice teeth, and well educated. God knows that I am (weak, weak, weak) weak for the dark brown woman. Then she has the nerve to have a distinct regional accent (which I will not disclose) that resonates through my sternum and down my spine. This girl looks like 5 feet and ten inches of Hershey bars melted down and poured into a snug sweater and tight slacks. And I already like chocolate. And here is me: completely off my game with miserably slow defenses. Think Abdul-Jabbar in 1989.

This is where we will track my dating phases and outcomes.

I am taking the Godiva-dipped Wonder Woman to dinner. And me? Well, I am fly. But I am not the Superman that I have historically been. I am not even Batman. I am more Aquaman. All underwater and chasing fish all over the place -- until I can dry out. It is real. None of us are perfect.