Here is a popular holiday dessert. You can substitute sweet potatoes or acorn squash and it is still delicious.
• 3 eggs 1/8 teaspoon cloves
• 1 can (1 lb.) pumpkin ½ teaspoon salt
• ½ cup packed light brown sugar ¾ cup milk or half and half
• ½ cup granulated white sugar ½ cup heavy cream
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon 9-inch unbaked pie shell
• ½ teaspoon ginger Whipped cream
• ¼ cup nutmeg
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In large bowl, beat eggs slightly. Add pumpkin, sugars, spices, salt and beat until well blended. Slowly add milk and cream. Pour into shell. Bake 60 to 70 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. Cool on rack. Just before serving, decorate pie with Whipped cream. Refrigerate any leftover.
Remember keep it simple and fast.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
O's Corner: Scandalous Spinach
This is a great way to make a vegetable spectacular. If you have little ones who won’t eat their greens, then try this recipe. Most kids love foods with cheese.
• 2-4 pkgs. Chopped frozen spinach, thawed, drained
• 1 pt. sour cream
• 1 envelope of Good Seasonings cheese garlic or garlic dressing mix
Thaw spinach and drain. Add sour cream and then dressing mix (about a hand full). If you can’t find the packaged dressing mix, substitute a cheese dressing of your choice, such as Parmesan or ranch bacon dressing (Adults may prefer blue cheese). Heat in 350-degree oven.
2 packages will serve 2-4 and 4 will serve 4-6.
• 2-4 pkgs. Chopped frozen spinach, thawed, drained
• 1 pt. sour cream
• 1 envelope of Good Seasonings cheese garlic or garlic dressing mix
Thaw spinach and drain. Add sour cream and then dressing mix (about a hand full). If you can’t find the packaged dressing mix, substitute a cheese dressing of your choice, such as Parmesan or ranch bacon dressing (Adults may prefer blue cheese). Heat in 350-degree oven.
2 packages will serve 2-4 and 4 will serve 4-6.
Remember, keep it simple and fast.
SPIRITUAL JOURNEY (DIVORCE)
DIVORCE PERSPECTIVE
JC’s Interview; Part One
By Angela
JC’s Interview; Part One
By Angela
My next interview is with a man who has been divorced for three years. I shall call him JC. He has had a hard time and is still recovering. Here are some things you should know about him. He is a former truck driver. He knew his ex-wife for five years before they married. They were married for seven years before she asked him for a divorce. Their marriage produced no children although she had one child from a prior relationship. They were separated for three months before their divorce was finalized. He is still single. This is his story.
Your wife was the one who asked for a divorce, right? How did it happen?
She came to me one Friday night in October and said she wanted a divorce. She said we were growing apart; that we weren’t growing together and that the marriage was stagnant.
Did you have any prior indications that she wanted a divorce?
No.
This was a total surprise?
Yes
How long were you separated?
Three months. She asked me for a divorce in October. We were divorced December 31st and the final papers came in January.
How did you manage to finalize things so quickly?
I consented to the divorce and we split everything. She took the furniture, I took the car
What was your reaction when she said she wanted a divorce?
I didn‘t believe her at first. I told her we should just separate for a while. She could do whatever it was she needed to do and when she was ready, she could come back. The house and I would be there and we could move on.
What was her response?
She wanted a divorce. She cried and said, “please let me have a divorce. Don‘t give me any problems.”
What did you do?
I didn’t contest. But I still left it open for her. If she wanted to work it out, we could work it out.
Describe the three months that you were separated.
She lived upstairs, in the bedroom. I lived downstairs, in our son’s old room. I had my own bathroom. We started living separate lives. That’s when I started finding out why she wanted a divorce...
Which was?
The other man that was in her life. She wanted to leave me for him. She is married to him now.
I must ask again. Were there no clues, no indications of any kind that she was unhappy?
She was unhappy but so was I. I thought we could work it out. I didn’t think she was seeing anybody else. I had no indications that she was seeing someone else. I just thought we were both stressed out because our son was getting into a lot of trouble. I thought maybe that was the factor that was stressing us. I thought that we would get past that.
Did you two talk about the issues?
Yes we did. There were days when I did not want to talk and days when she did not want to talk, and days when we both did not want to talk. When we did talk, it was mostly about our son and paying bills.
So was there no real talk between the two of you?
She eventually told me that she had emotional needs. She told me I didn’t tell her how beautiful she was, I didn’t tell her how much I cared for her. I told her I loved her, every day, more than once a day. But I didn’t tell her the things she needed to hear to make her feel good about herself
But I had emotional needs, too. And she didn’t tell me the things she wanted me to tell her, either. I was under stress. I was working two jobs, working seven days a week. But, at the time, there was so much happening that we both couldn’t see what was right in front of us. No one was being abused, we were not disrespecting each other, at least as far as I knew. We were still doing the household and family things that needed to be done. As far as I was concerned, she was my best friend and I was hers. We just allowed things to get between us - like our son, our friends….
At that point, would you have taken her back?
At the beginning sure. But not at that point. Not when I found out that other people knew there was another man. Then, all bets were off. Even then, though, I thought about it. I weighed it out, because this was the only person I had ever loved. And people make mistakes. You could be married for thirty years or forever, and you still have to work things out. Divorce was never in my vocabulary.
How did you cope?
I started hanging out more often after work with the other truck drivers. And I held on for the sake of holding on, I guess, just to get through it. But once the papers came in and the house was sold, and I was left with, pretty much, nothing, I felt nothing.
How did your family react when you told them you were getting a divorce?
They didn’t know. I didn’t tell them until the divorce was finalized. Then it was the usual: “you’ll be okay”, “everything will be alright”, “you’ll move on”, “good thing you didn’t have any kids together.”
Do you feel they were supportive?
In their own way. I guess they did the best they could. I never asked for any help and they never offered.
Why?
I’ve always been like, "I’ll be okay. I’ll take this one on the chin and keep it moving.” So, they were like, “J. will be all right.” I think they felt I would just take it like a man and keep going. They had no clue what I was going through.
What about your friends?
Same thing. Two of my friends were going through the same thing. They were helpful. Well, not really. They were bitter, so they did the best they could with what they knew. They said things like, "it will be alright”, “forget her”, “move on.” Some said "it takes a while.” One friend said, "do your thing.” And, one said, “you shouldn’t date at all.”
What did you do different while you were separated?
I still went to work. But I drank constantly. I was devastated. I didn’t do any drugs, but I ate a lot and drank a lot. I’d go to a bar at about six or seven o’clock in the evening and stay ‘til it closed. That would be my Monday through Friday.
How did you get home?
I drove home. I made it home. God was with me, because there were several nights when I would be in the parking lot, passed out, with the engine running. I should be dead or locked up but God was with me.
And so concludes Part One of my interview with JC. It is clear this divorce was, at least for JC, totally unexpected and devastating. It is a shame he felt there was no one he could turn to for help and support. That is what is most needed during times of great adversity, what he most needed. Next time, more of my interview with JC.
Your wife was the one who asked for a divorce, right? How did it happen?
She came to me one Friday night in October and said she wanted a divorce. She said we were growing apart; that we weren’t growing together and that the marriage was stagnant.
Did you have any prior indications that she wanted a divorce?
No.
This was a total surprise?
Yes
How long were you separated?
Three months. She asked me for a divorce in October. We were divorced December 31st and the final papers came in January.
How did you manage to finalize things so quickly?
I consented to the divorce and we split everything. She took the furniture, I took the car
What was your reaction when she said she wanted a divorce?
I didn‘t believe her at first. I told her we should just separate for a while. She could do whatever it was she needed to do and when she was ready, she could come back. The house and I would be there and we could move on.
What was her response?
She wanted a divorce. She cried and said, “please let me have a divorce. Don‘t give me any problems.”
What did you do?
I didn’t contest. But I still left it open for her. If she wanted to work it out, we could work it out.
Describe the three months that you were separated.
She lived upstairs, in the bedroom. I lived downstairs, in our son’s old room. I had my own bathroom. We started living separate lives. That’s when I started finding out why she wanted a divorce...
Which was?
The other man that was in her life. She wanted to leave me for him. She is married to him now.
I must ask again. Were there no clues, no indications of any kind that she was unhappy?
She was unhappy but so was I. I thought we could work it out. I didn’t think she was seeing anybody else. I had no indications that she was seeing someone else. I just thought we were both stressed out because our son was getting into a lot of trouble. I thought maybe that was the factor that was stressing us. I thought that we would get past that.
Did you two talk about the issues?
Yes we did. There were days when I did not want to talk and days when she did not want to talk, and days when we both did not want to talk. When we did talk, it was mostly about our son and paying bills.
So was there no real talk between the two of you?
She eventually told me that she had emotional needs. She told me I didn’t tell her how beautiful she was, I didn’t tell her how much I cared for her. I told her I loved her, every day, more than once a day. But I didn’t tell her the things she needed to hear to make her feel good about herself
But I had emotional needs, too. And she didn’t tell me the things she wanted me to tell her, either. I was under stress. I was working two jobs, working seven days a week. But, at the time, there was so much happening that we both couldn’t see what was right in front of us. No one was being abused, we were not disrespecting each other, at least as far as I knew. We were still doing the household and family things that needed to be done. As far as I was concerned, she was my best friend and I was hers. We just allowed things to get between us - like our son, our friends….
At that point, would you have taken her back?
At the beginning sure. But not at that point. Not when I found out that other people knew there was another man. Then, all bets were off. Even then, though, I thought about it. I weighed it out, because this was the only person I had ever loved. And people make mistakes. You could be married for thirty years or forever, and you still have to work things out. Divorce was never in my vocabulary.
How did you cope?
I started hanging out more often after work with the other truck drivers. And I held on for the sake of holding on, I guess, just to get through it. But once the papers came in and the house was sold, and I was left with, pretty much, nothing, I felt nothing.
How did your family react when you told them you were getting a divorce?
They didn’t know. I didn’t tell them until the divorce was finalized. Then it was the usual: “you’ll be okay”, “everything will be alright”, “you’ll move on”, “good thing you didn’t have any kids together.”
Do you feel they were supportive?
In their own way. I guess they did the best they could. I never asked for any help and they never offered.
Why?
I’ve always been like, "I’ll be okay. I’ll take this one on the chin and keep it moving.” So, they were like, “J. will be all right.” I think they felt I would just take it like a man and keep going. They had no clue what I was going through.
What about your friends?
Same thing. Two of my friends were going through the same thing. They were helpful. Well, not really. They were bitter, so they did the best they could with what they knew. They said things like, "it will be alright”, “forget her”, “move on.” Some said "it takes a while.” One friend said, "do your thing.” And, one said, “you shouldn’t date at all.”
What did you do different while you were separated?
I still went to work. But I drank constantly. I was devastated. I didn’t do any drugs, but I ate a lot and drank a lot. I’d go to a bar at about six or seven o’clock in the evening and stay ‘til it closed. That would be my Monday through Friday.
How did you get home?
I drove home. I made it home. God was with me, because there were several nights when I would be in the parking lot, passed out, with the engine running. I should be dead or locked up but God was with me.
And so concludes Part One of my interview with JC. It is clear this divorce was, at least for JC, totally unexpected and devastating. It is a shame he felt there was no one he could turn to for help and support. That is what is most needed during times of great adversity, what he most needed. Next time, more of my interview with JC.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
DW's Loop
“How can you stay in the Loop, if you aren’t in the Loop?”
December 12 - 14, 2008
Friday
Jbar Fridays
610 N. Rush
http://www.jameshotels.com/Chicago
Saturday
Salud's Holiday Party
1471 N. Milwaukee
8pm - 11pm
$25 per person - includes Open Bar
RSVP @ 773-276-7582
Space is limited
Sunday
2nd Annual Ugly Christmas Sweater & Naughty Elves Party
Krem
1750 N. Clark
For reservations call Brandon 708-769-5555
Toys for Tots donation at the door
For more info: www.kremchicago.com
Cocktail for the Week - Aztec Punch
Ingredients
Instructions:
Mix all ingredients in a pitcher thoroughly and pour into high ball or Collins glass
Bonus of the Week – Drambuie Presents: Belmont Burlesque
Monday, December 15th
Angels & Kings
710 N Clark St
Drambuie cocktails from 8pm - 11pm
RSVP @ www.myopenbar.com/belmontburlesque
December 12 - 14, 2008
Friday
Jbar Fridays
610 N. Rush
http://www.jameshotels.com/Chicago
Saturday
Salud's Holiday Party
1471 N. Milwaukee
8pm - 11pm
$25 per person - includes Open Bar
RSVP @ 773-276-7582
Space is limited
Sunday
2nd Annual Ugly Christmas Sweater & Naughty Elves Party
Krem
1750 N. Clark
For reservations call Brandon 708-769-5555
Toys for Tots donation at the door
For more info: www.kremchicago.com
Cocktail for the Week - Aztec Punch
Ingredients
- 1 can Lemonade Concentrate
- 5 oz Vodka
- 7 oz Rum
- About 1 bottle Ginger ale
- Ice
Instructions:
Mix all ingredients in a pitcher thoroughly and pour into high ball or Collins glass
Bonus of the Week – Drambuie Presents: Belmont Burlesque
Monday, December 15th
Angels & Kings
710 N Clark St
Drambuie cocktails from 8pm - 11pm
RSVP @ www.myopenbar.com/belmontburlesque
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
To Do in South Florida - December
Dec. 9
Ex- Doobie Brother – Michael McDonald
8 p.m.: Culture Room, 3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale;
954-564-1074; $40-$68.
Dec. 12
Alhambra Orchestra’s holiday pops concert; 7 p.m.;
The Barnacle Historic State Park, 3485 Main Hwy., Coconut
Grove, 305-442-6866 or www.alhambramusic.org; $10.
Dec. 13
Y-100’s Jingle Ball, featuring Rihanna, Fall Out Boy, Katy
Perry and Jesse McCartney,; 7 p.m.; BankAtlantic Center, 2555
Panther Pkwy., Sunrise. Ticketmaster, $43.
Mixed Fighting Alliance’s “There Will Be Blood 2008”;
8 p.m., American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd. Miami;
786-777-1250 or aaarena.com; $33-$200.
Dec. 14
Lil Wayne’s “I Am Music Tour,” with Keyshia Cole,
T-Pain and Gym Class Heroes; 7 p.m.; American Airlines Arena,
601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. 786-777-1250 or aaarena.com;
$36.75-$76.75.
Ex- Doobie Brother – Michael McDonald
8 p.m.: Culture Room, 3045 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale;
954-564-1074; $40-$68.
Dec. 12
Alhambra Orchestra’s holiday pops concert; 7 p.m.;
The Barnacle Historic State Park, 3485 Main Hwy., Coconut
Grove, 305-442-6866 or www.alhambramusic.org; $10.
Dec. 13
Y-100’s Jingle Ball, featuring Rihanna, Fall Out Boy, Katy
Perry and Jesse McCartney,; 7 p.m.; BankAtlantic Center, 2555
Panther Pkwy., Sunrise. Ticketmaster, $43.
Mixed Fighting Alliance’s “There Will Be Blood 2008”;
8 p.m., American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd. Miami;
786-777-1250 or aaarena.com; $33-$200.
Dec. 14
Lil Wayne’s “I Am Music Tour,” with Keyshia Cole,
T-Pain and Gym Class Heroes; 7 p.m.; American Airlines Arena,
601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. 786-777-1250 or aaarena.com;
$36.75-$76.75.
O's Corner: Quick, Sweet, Beef Stew
I don’t remember who I got this recipe from. All I remember is that I’ve been preparing it since the early eighties. It became a favorite for cold days, especially Saturdays, when you have less preparation time because of the long list of errands. This works very well in the crock pot or your big soup pot. The preparation time is only about 10 minutes. This serves 4-6.
- 2 lbs. stew beef (cut in bite-size pieces)
- 1 pkg. brown gravy mix or one jar of beef or mushroom gravy
- 2 cups apple juice
- ½ pkg. Lipton’s onion soup mix
- 1 cup chopped onion and green peppers/ already diced in container from store
Pour apple juice into casserole dish, add brown gravy mix, onion soup mix, and raw, cubed, bite-size beef. Cover. Bake 3 hours at 300 degrees or until tender in crock pot. Add onions and green pepper for the last half hour. You can add any other vegetables of your choice at this time. Carrots, parsnips, peas, green beans, corn are good choices (Note: Carrots and parsnips should be added an hour before completion). Taste test and if necessary, add salt, pepper and other spices to suit your taste. Serve over noodles, rice or biscuits.
If fewer servings are needed, the leftovers taste as good or better the next day.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
SPIRITUAL JOURNEY - Love Angst (part two)
.23 Love Angst (Part Two)
by Angela Skeete Davis
Morrie Schwartz (December 20, 1916 to November 4, 1995, an American educator)
by Angela Skeete Davis
Think about this, if you don’t let go, you will become stagnant and
paralyzed. But if you do let go, you open yourself to the possibility of forever next time. Does that not work for you? I have another. Write all the bad stuff down on paper. Then rip it up into tiny pieces, put those tiny pieces in an ashtray, set it all on fire and watch them burn away. Hopefully some of your pain will burn away too. Or bury the paper. The point is to put some action to your letting go to make the letting go a little easier.
Does that not work for you? Do you need an example, instead? How about a story? I know a man who has had his share of relationship endings and heartache. Yet when he talks, you can hear in his voice and see in his face how much he loved in those past relationships. You can hear and see how hard he tried to make the relationships work. I am sure that when women hear him speak about his past, about his former loves, they want to get next to him. A man that can love like that and keep the good and speak of the good in spite of the bad is a man to be cherished. Most women want to be loved like that. Hell, most men want to be loved like that. When he says he wants to experience the joy that loving can bring, the happiness that being in love can bring, you believe him.
Still not convinced that choosing not to fall in love is not the answer? How about this?(I may have told you about this already, I don’t remember) A few years ago, a friend of mine met a man and six months later told me she was in love with him. As she is a widow like me and we have had, in the past, similar feelings about the possibility of falling in love again (never), I was surprised. I asked her how it could happen. She said her capacity to love her husband gave her the capacity to love again. She said she had enough love in her to still love her husband deeply and yet love this man deeply and truly. She said she brings to the relationship all that she had with her husband plus all of her maturity and other experiences; that now, older, she can love deeper, more passionately, with more knowledge and more abilities. She said she was excited about the relationship and its possibilities.
I was skeptical. But I thought a lot about what she said and eventually a light bulb came on in my head and I got it. A loving relationship that ends does not limit our ability to love, it enhances it. The more we love, the more we can love. The more we can love, the more we are given opportunities to love. The more opportunities we are given, the more we love. It is a beautiful circle of love. That I get. That I want to be a part of. Like a love-fest of life. If it is a ride, sign me up. If it is a party, where can I get my ticket. If it is just about life, let me live it to the fullest.
I guess the ultimate comment is it is better to step out on faith, and take a chance at love and true, everlasting happiness than to stay within one’s self and deny love to prevent possible heartache. Besides, whoever heard of possible heartache. Shouldn't possibility be about hope, be about heart-joy or heart-happiness. After all, without hope there is no real chance at love and without love, we die or become scarred. So, if I must die and I must, I want to die knowing I gave love every possible chance.
Still not sure, here are some things I think are true…
It doesn’t matter how they left you feeling, what matters is how you felt at the very best of times.
Do not honor them by remembering the worst and how it left you emotionally, honor yourself by remembering the best, how much of yourself you gave and how good that was.
Do not deny yourself because it did not work out that time, delight yourself with the anticipation and expectation of “possible forever happiness” this time.
Do not count your moments by the memories that broke your heart, fill your heart album with the moments that caused your soul to soar.
Do not look to the failure as the whole of the relationship, remember the success within and use them as your barometer for what to expect next.
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”
paralyzed. But if you do let go, you open yourself to the possibility of forever next time. Does that not work for you? I have another. Write all the bad stuff down on paper. Then rip it up into tiny pieces, put those tiny pieces in an ashtray, set it all on fire and watch them burn away. Hopefully some of your pain will burn away too. Or bury the paper. The point is to put some action to your letting go to make the letting go a little easier.Does that not work for you? Do you need an example, instead? How about a story? I know a man who has had his share of relationship endings and heartache. Yet when he talks, you can hear in his voice and see in his face how much he loved in those past relationships. You can hear and see how hard he tried to make the relationships work. I am sure that when women hear him speak about his past, about his former loves, they want to get next to him. A man that can love like that and keep the good and speak of the good in spite of the bad is a man to be cherished. Most women want to be loved like that. Hell, most men want to be loved like that. When he says he wants to experience the joy that loving can bring, the happiness that being in love can bring, you believe him.
Still not convinced that choosing not to fall in love is not the answer? How about this?(I may have told you about this already, I don’t remember) A few years ago, a friend of mine met a man and six months later told me she was in love with him. As she is a widow like me and we have had, in the past, similar feelings about the possibility of falling in love again (never), I was surprised. I asked her how it could happen. She said her capacity to love her husband gave her the capacity to love again. She said she had enough love in her to still love her husband deeply and yet love this man deeply and truly. She said she brings to the relationship all that she had with her husband plus all of her maturity and other experiences; that now, older, she can love deeper, more passionately, with more knowledge and more abilities. She said she was excited about the relationship and its possibilities.
I was skeptical. But I thought a lot about what she said and eventually a light bulb came on in my head and I got it. A loving relationship that ends does not limit our ability to love, it enhances it. The more we love, the more we can love. The more we can love, the more we are given opportunities to love. The more opportunities we are given, the more we love. It is a beautiful circle of love. That I get. That I want to be a part of. Like a love-fest of life. If it is a ride, sign me up. If it is a party, where can I get my ticket. If it is just about life, let me live it to the fullest.
I guess the ultimate comment is it is better to step out on faith, and take a chance at love and true, everlasting happiness than to stay within one’s self and deny love to prevent possible heartache. Besides, whoever heard of possible heartache. Shouldn't possibility be about hope, be about heart-joy or heart-happiness. After all, without hope there is no real chance at love and without love, we die or become scarred. So, if I must die and I must, I want to die knowing I gave love every possible chance.
Still not sure, here are some things I think are true…
It doesn’t matter how they left you feeling, what matters is how you felt at the very best of times.
Do not honor them by remembering the worst and how it left you emotionally, honor yourself by remembering the best, how much of yourself you gave and how good that was.
Do not deny yourself because it did not work out that time, delight yourself with the anticipation and expectation of “possible forever happiness” this time.
Do not count your moments by the memories that broke your heart, fill your heart album with the moments that caused your soul to soar.
Do not look to the failure as the whole of the relationship, remember the success within and use them as your barometer for what to expect next.
Morrie Schwartz (December 20, 1916 to November 4, 1995, an American educator)
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